The future stands still, dear Mr. Kappus, but we move in infinite space. - Ranier Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

Friday, February 22, 2008

Letter 5

Dear Josephine,

Whose to say the Sphinx got it wrong? Well, according to a NYTimes article published back in October, she did. Today there are six stages of life: childhood, adolescence, odyssey, adulthood, active retirement and old age. To cater to this, we must ask Oedipus: how does (wo)man find this journey? Do not, we whisper, tell me about your marriage bed and lapse about the time between the loss and reclaiming of Penelope.

Let's focus (how aptly!) on the stage known as the Odyssey. This stage takes place during one's twenties, where "finding oneself" becomes a pattern of jobs, relationships, and periods of self-doubt. States the NYTimes:

"Through their work, you can see the spirit of fluidity that now characterizes this stage. Young people grow up in tightly structured childhoods, Wuthnow observes, but then graduate into a world characterized by uncertainty, diversity, searching and tinkering. Old success recipes don’t apply, new norms have not been established and everything seems to give way to a less permanent version of itself.

Dating gives way to Facebook and hooking up. Marriage gives way to cohabitation. Church attendance gives way to spiritual longing. Newspaper reading gives way to blogging. (In 1970, 49 percent of adults in their 20s read a daily paper; now it’s at 21 percent.)"

Apparently in this stage, twenty-somethings lead "improvisational lives." I'm telling you, Josephine, scripts would be handy. Take the definition of "improvise":

transitive verb
1 : to compose, recite, play, or sing extemporaneously
2 : to make, invent, or arrange offhand
3 : to make or fabricate out of what is conveniently on hand
intransitive verb
: to improvise something

What is being fabricated? Am I leading my life as though it's a play? I find my actions merit more serious worth.

Anyway, doesn't this all leads back to the motto "life is a journey" (which both fascinates me and triggers my gag reflex)? There has to be a better way to describe this life were living than merely through a series of quantitative terms. Why must everything be mapped out to be understood? Have we all become folders within a larger filing cabinet?

Forgive me, I am in a terrible mood. Anyway, since I'm just beginning these Odyssey years (I'm marking the beginning as graduation from College), I have to admit the NYTimes is on to something. In the short span since graduation, I have become more comfortable and uncomfortable and comfortable again with my "self." Perhaps though, through all of it, I have come closer to understanding what it is I really want. Because I think we all understand ourselves at some level, and the phrase "understanding who we are" always seems to become synonymous or even overshadow the real question - what we want. Isn't that always the hardest question to answer? There are always other factors to consider.

In short, I think the Odyssey years mark the time when there are the least amount of factors that need to be considered when decision-making, so there's more of a drive to understand what one wants. That, in itself, is an exhausting, and contemplative, journey.

sending you love,

l.c.

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